Monday night, pijamas, couch, chai tea and Jay LaMontagne playing quietly (thanx Brad!) maybe I can do a little writing since the mood seems just right tonight. I’ve been a bit mellow lately, maybe it’s been my new music or the fact that things aren’t going very well at work, could be I’m missing someone but god knows who! Maybe it’s like that John Mayer song, the love song for no one lol
This year has gone by so so so fast, could be its all just flashing before my eyes and again the end of year is arriving. Those who know me well know that I’m not the best person to be around when the Xmas and New Years season comes around, ugh! Still can’t put my finger on it yet, why I hate the season. Could be the superficial materialistic smell in the air or the fact that I can never make any special plans being as I always depend on what my kids will be up to. Could be that its as simple as facing the end of yet another year, one more gone by, forcing you to turn around and just wonder how on earth it went by without you even noticing.
I’ve had one too many endings in my life, seasons, relationships, stages, feelings, people, must I go on? For most of us the ending of something is just another occasion for sadness and regret, it’s so hard to remember and just remind ourselves that it is just a natural part of life. After all, life is a process, not something we can just get over with easily. If we are so aware of this, why do we still let it get to us?
In the past I have written a lot about letting go and moving on, think I’ve posted a few lyrics too. Throughout my life I have had to let go of people I love very dearly, including a soul mate. I think this is one of the most difficult situations us humans go through in our lives, letting go and moving on. Maybe I should become more perceptive, shift a little, not allow any unnecessary sadness into my life. It’s taken me a while to learn that change is a big part of life, maybe within this change new things start when old things end.
Maybe the ending is what provides the opportunity for us to change something in our life or give us a different present or future outcome. There’s this saying about women, “women are like monkeys, they don’t let go of one branch until they’ve got a hold of a new one” (interpret as you wish). I think this is so true, and not just for women but everybody in general. We tend to hold onto situations or people, just to be safe or not to accept the fact that we need to let go and move on. Maybe we need to realize that something has to be over before something new can begin.