Old Stories… Part 8

So I’m back with my little journal… I’ve lost track a little there for a minute. Life has gotten a little complicated lately and I rarely have time to write, this journal stuff is basically copy/paste so I’m covered for a bit. Being a single mom is not an easy task, and I hate that it sounds so cliché. But some days, no matter how hard you try and how dedicated you want to be there’s is always something that slips through your fingers. Right now, I miss being with my kids… I feel I’ve lost grip and its made me feel down, not a good feeling. Life goes by too fast, they grow fast, I hate not being there when they need me. So anyway, tonight decided to come back to my blog and post a little more…

DECEMBER 16th, 1994 - “Been a long time, my life has taken many steps, and so far all have been for good. Max and I separated, I couldn’t take it anymore, the emotional abuse, the temper, the harshness. For too long I was trying really hard not to end up like my mother-in-law but somehow we were walking in the same steps as she was. Max was working 24 hrs a day and even the little time he was home it was like he just wasn’t there. He didn’t like me working and he was terribly obsessive about money… the kids didn’t even like to spent time with him after a while. Talking just didn’t help anymore, I just had to do something… so I walked out. During this separation a lot of weird things happened and I realized that I was easily replaceable. So we got back together again. Today… Max still lives convinced that during our separation I cheated on him, an accusation that came from someone that quickly began dating after I left. Life is just not the same. I have learned a lot… I have learned that I married someone who constantly lies, to me, to my kids. I learned that I married someone whom I cannot trust. So we moved house out to Escazú thinking it would help the relationship and began to visit a therapist and then had to quit because Max didn’t want to pay for it anymore. It helped, a little and he’s trying… helps me more and he’s more open to conversation. So life is kinda good, could be worse I guess… life is teaching me a lot of lessons, hard ones.”

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