Life, please prove me wrong…

Hi Life,

It’s me Ann. Remember me? I live you on a daily basis, the one girl who never never bugs you or asks you for anything. Just wanted to say hi and tell you that I’m thankful that you’ve given me an amazing life and the gift of my children for which I thank you every single second of the day. In the past years you’ve given me so much, family, friends, work, a home, food, etc. I also thank you for that. So, as you well know, this month i’ll be turning 40 and although I feel just about 30 and am looking forward to this next stage I need to sit down with you and have a little heart to heart chat. See, there’s some things about you that I just don’t get and as I enter this new stage I need for you to prove me wrong on a few things that keep going around an around in my head.

For starters, I’m just curious, why every time I make the smallest plan you always come and mess it up for me? I mean, really!? Is this fun for you, do you get a kick out of it or is there another reason I’m just not getting? You know me, way back I learned never to look any further than next week but I’ve been trying, I’ve been changing. Problem is, when I do, you seem to fuck it up every single time…  that’s so not cool man.Then, what’s up with this timing thing? It either goes too fast, too slow or it’s always the “wrong time”. Could you at least sometimes reconsider and make the timing right, you know, just for once? I’d really appreciate it.

Another thing I hate is the way you mess with my head, if reason tells me one thing why do you keep popping other shit into my brain? Every single time I make the slightest effort to forget and move on you come prancing in reminding me of that which I wish not to be reminded of…. must be great as you don’t have to live in my head!

Oh, and why are most men jerks? I’m sure many other women ask you this question a lot, but really, why? They’re either players, dogs, stupid or just plain jerks. The nicer ones always love another even if that other does not deserve them. The ones I have truly and profoundly loved either end up hurting me or couldn’t give a shit about the life opportunity they have with me. And then, all the rest fall into the category of: married, gay, unattractive or ass-hole.

The lessons, yes, most of the days I really, really thank you for those, without them I wouldn’t be me. But, you know, some lessons you teach me really hurt and I’m kinda getting sick of them. I get it!! ok? Is that what you wanted me to say? There, I said it, can we move on now?

So… I think that’s pretty much where I need to be proved wrong, I’m sure I can come up with much more but I think i’ll just stick to these. I know you’re busy with other stuff, u know, so much crap going on in the world and people who are way worse off than I am. I’m a good person, I’m a giver, you know that, so can I be just a teeny tiny selfish this one time?

Go ahead life, whenever you’re ready… prove me wrong!

Thanks, Ann