The story is quite common and I’m sure we’ve all been there, you meet somebody, there’s attraction, you get to know each other and things begin to click… you fall into a relationship and suddenly you begin to loose control with little things here and there. Now, I’m not talking about “being controlling”, I’ve never been there and never will, i’m talking about not being in control of small daily situations that begin to throw you off. For example, a big one can be the painful realization that maybe the other person just doesn’t care that much as they did, or that you’re putting yourself out there way too much creating a very lop-sided relationship.
See, in relationships, I believe there’s so much we can control and so much we can’t. Early on I learned the importance of being your true self, it’s so clear, if we know who we are and what we want, we should feel absolutely no need to control a situation to create the results that we wish for. Us humans, we’re so complex, wouldn’t life be easier if we all just spoke our mind and stopped wasting time on silly games?
For example, women can be so funny sometimes, they go out of their way for that initial attraction, the clothes, the makeup, the fancy meals, the baby talk, the attention, even the sex. They put on a show to reel in a guy and months into the relationship it all falls apart when they can’t keep it up. (Divorce anyone?). Failed relationships and time, that’s the only way we learn all these silly lessons, what to do and what not to do.
Failed relationships suck, big time! But, somehow along the line i’ve also learned that most of us need to go through several of these before we are actually ready to meet that one right person. Don’t get me wrong, I really have my doubts about the whole “soul mate” thing but I do like to believe that there is some person out there that is the closest to the perfect match… that someone with whom I can truly picture myself growing old with.
None of this can be controlled, unfortunately… and much less, timing.
Timing is so weird, suddenly you meet someone and you’re sure of the timing and then it’s off. So what does timing mean? I understand situations where one person is in a relationship (or married) and the timing is off, but I guess it can also mean that one or the other has been hurt badly or just doesn’t want to be in a relationship.
Timing can be so crucial and I believe that it starts with making yourself available to find that “other person”. As much as failed relationship suck, they prepare us for the next, and the next, and the next. Yes, it’s horrible not knowing if the next is the “one” but then again, honestly, If two people really want to be together, they’ll both work on it and make it happen (and they’ll work on it equally). I believe so and it’s taken some hurt to realize how true this can be, there’s nothing more beautiful that being on the same page as somebody else.
Just recently a woman in Virginia read my cards, yes, at a distance, it’s a great long story. Apparently as she read my cards she learned something very interesting about me, she said that I had assembled all the tools I needed and had gone through all the challenges I needed in order to be ready for what’s next. What did she mean by next? She meant for my next relationship, hopefully my last one.
I loved those words, she must be a very wise woman because I couldn’t agree more with her. I have been through many crappy relationships but I’ve also learned, with each and every one of them, lessons that have prepared me for the next one, and the next and so forth. Right now, I’m done, I’m tired of “next” and i’m ready for the one, and hopefully, this time, as timing is everything, the timing will be right on time!