Closure

People talk about getting closure all the time. After a loved one has passed, after a breakup, a broken friendship, or even after letting go of material possessions. I have one too many questions about this issue, I mean, why do we need closure? Why does it seem that we always need closure for a “bad” thing? But more importantly, what do we mean by closure? Is it looking at the event, determining what we’ve learned from it, applying those lessons, and then getting on with our lives? 

I personally have tried the “closure” deal many times and still I have no idea if it worked or not, you know, throwing away letters, deleting pics on your laptop, burning the boxers, getting rid of contact info… still, I’m not sure I have ever gotten the closure I needed. May I add, the many times does not mean it has been with different people… which probably makes it worse! lol

In my search of a better definition I found out that apparently in mathematics there is a concept for closure that applies mostly to algebra, the definition states – a set is closed under an operation if applying the operation to two members of the set results in another member of the set… huh!!?

Scratch that, forget the math, I prefer to stick to psychology… is closure just something in our minds? I tend to think closure is mental and therefore should be easy to control, but the heart, now there’s a different story, no part of your brain can tell your heart to forget and move on. Closure is something very personal, something deep inside of us. It can be a matter of the heart or a matter of the brain, it can be as simple as seeking that moment that will provide you a proper ending to an ongoing situation. An ending where you can say, “I’m there, I have moved on…”  and lay the love to rest together with all the good, the bad and the in-between. Read the rest of this entry »

Do we need an ending for something new to begin?

Monday night, pijamas, couch, chai tea and Jay LaMontagne playing quietly (thanx Brad!) maybe I can do a little writing since the mood seems just right tonight. I’ve been a bit mellow lately, maybe it’s been my new music or the fact that things aren’t going very well at work, could be I’m missing someone but god knows who! Maybe it’s like that John Mayer song, the love song for no one lol

This year has gone by so so so fast, could be its all just flashing before my eyes and again the end of year is arriving. Those who know me well know that I’m not the best person to be around when the Xmas and New Years season comes around, ugh! Still can’t put my finger on it yet, why I hate the season. Could be the superficial materialistic smell in the air or the fact that I can never make any special plans being as I always depend on what my kids will be up to. Could be that its as simple as facing the end of yet another year, one more gone by, forcing you to turn around and just wonder how on earth it went by without you even noticing.

I’ve had one too many endings in my life, seasons, relationships, stages, feelings, people, must I go on? For most of us the ending of something is just another occasion for sadness and regret, it’s so hard to remember and just remind ourselves that it is just a natural part of life. After all, life is a process, not something we can just get over with easily. If we are so aware of this, why do we still let it get to us? Read the rest of this entry »

Letting go…

Letting go of a loved one is one of the hardest things us humans go through in life. It can happen once or just over and over again. Do we just have one true love in our lives or is it possible to have a few? I once had to make a very difficult decision of trying to let go of someone, I don’t think we ever do but we can certainly try.

Letting go

It seems that we have reached the end

And my heart will have to find a way to mend

Don’t you realize what you have just done to me?

I guess I will have to let the past be

It seems way too easy for you to see us part

Someday I will slowly get back my heart

You know you really hurt me

For a lifetime you have always been “the guy”

To you it seems I was just a game

It sure is a shame

That you turned out to be that way

Cause now I have to keep memories of you away

I still hope you are ok

And that our paths will cross again some day

Right now I am feeling just way too low

But hopefully by then, I will be done letting go