The Ying of my Yang

I’ve learned that perfection does not exist. I now know that one learns to love not when you find the perfect person but when you learn to love the other person’s imperfections. Ying and Yang is about balance and harmony, the very essence of our universe. It can be so beautiful when two people become comfortable in sharing who they truly are, how they feel and what they think. To have a beautiful intimate and loving relationship, we need to learn to give the fullness of ourselves and accept in return the fullness of another.

“Yang is the initiating impulse, which divides and delineates; yin is the responsive impulse, which nurtures and reunites. Without yang nothing would come into being; without yin all that comes into being would die. yang is mental activity in its forceful aspect, yin the imaginative and poetic, exalting the merely mental to the beautiful. yang goes ahead with things, yin contains things within herself and knows their nature without effort. yang does, yin is. Yang in his givingness bestows the gifts; yin in her being receives, preserves, enhances, and redistributes them. Yang constructs, yin instructs; yang implements, yin complements; yang is strength, yin endurance; yang is knowledge, yin the mystery that reveals itself and becomes knowledge. yang is the discoverer, yin lures toward greater discovery. Yang is the self-developer, inspired by yin, the self dedicator, for her development and his dedication. Yang is the lover, and yin is therefore beloved; yin is the beloved and the source of love. Yang is will and yin is wisdom, and one without the other is neither, and together they are joy. Yang is as the day, turning into night, and yin the night preceding the day; the one is the force that drives the waves of the ocean forward, the other the force that draws them back so that they may go forward again.”

Quote taken from ”Twin Souls,” by Patricia Joudry and Maurie D. Pressman

We loose control, we loose our tongue…

Self preservation is something all of us humans practice on a daily life, we guard ourselves from becoming vulnerable to anything we believe will hurt us. We bite our tongues and leave things unsaid all the time, things that would leave us exposed. We maintain a constant “front” because if we fully give into what we want, it would mean we would have to let go and finally become vulnerable. Some of us have this incredible need to be able to break through, mostly because we know that what’s on the other side will make us incredibly happy… but yet we’re scared. And I wonder, if we know deep in our hearts that the breakthrough would be worth it, why don’t we just go ahead and do it? I have been here, a couple times, and in order to preserve myself I have become cold, unavailable, distant. And still, still… for whatever reason, I still feel I have to bite my tongue, not to loose control and become vulnerable myself. Because again, if I give into what I really want and loose my tongue, it would probably mean I will have to let go.

What I’ve learned

I’ve learned that I cannot make someone love me.

I haven’t learned when it’s ok to say I love you and when its not.

I’ve learned that no matter how much I care some people just don’t care back.

I’ve learned that I can still feel terribly lonely even when I’m surrounded by hundreds of people.

I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I’ve learned that it’s not what I have in my life, but whom I have in my life that counts.

I’ve learned that my background and circumstances may have influenced who I am, but I am responsible for what I become.

I’ve learned that I am responsible for what I do, no matter how I feel.

I still haven’t learned to notice when people use me or play around with my feelings.

I’ve learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I’ve learned that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt me every once in a while.

I’ve learned that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others.  Sometimes I have to learn to forgive myself.

I’ve learned that no matter how bad my heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for my grief.

I have also learned that my heart has been broken because I have allowed it… and I keep allowing it.

I’ve learned that no matter how hard I try to protect my children, they will eventually get hurt, and I will hurt in the process.

I’ve learned that once a loved one lies to me, they’ll keep doing it for a lifetime… and I don’t seem to have learned from that yet.

I’ve learned that sometimes I can keep going long after I can’t.

I’ve learned that life will always keep throwing curve balls at me.

Although I have learned so many things, I still don’t seem to learn from all my past mistakes.

Do we practice enough patience?

In today’s world of new media, we have suddenly become accustomed to getting instant information, a click on our mouse and we’re surrounded by constant updates, both useless and useful. Be it Facebook or Twitter, we can see what our loved ones are up to, where they are, what they’re wearing, what mood they’re in… Carolina suddenly got married in NY, Viv is counting days before her trip to the beach, Horacio just consulted his tarot cards and is destined to have a good day, Dylan is drinking a coke, Jason is now friends with Charlene, Jeff is arguing whether or not Mrs. Clause has a beard and Laura is busy harvesting her crops… 

Everything is instant, Google this, Google that, instant communication, instant social groups, instant news. But, what about instant results? Today I began to wonder, is this new trend making us all more impatient? Have we become so accustomed to instant information that we are impatient at the slightest shift in time to make things happen?

According to Wikipedia, patience is the state of endurance under difficult circumstances, which can mean persevering in the face of delay or provocation without becoming annoyed or upset. Is there really a delay in our lives or have we just gotten into the bad habit of having and wanting everything right now? 

I am normally a very patient person, sometimes too much, throughout life I have managed to learn (I think) when it’s time to say “Enough!” and when it’s ok to hold back and be patient. I can also be very spontaneous, which can be good or bad depending on the situation! I get a gut feeling and I never question it, I just get up and go… no patience here! So do we practice patience not to suffer any regrets? Maybe Wikipedia has hit the nail, because the minute we become annoyed, it’s certainly a sign that we’ve run out of patience, right?

I think patience can be a very good thing, something we should all practice more. It does have it’s perks, it can help you think things over, analyze situations (not too much!) and sometimes even puts you in a situation where it creates excitement and anticipation when something good is about to come your way. 

So, although today’s technology is teaching us the bad habit of wanting to know everything at an instant, we must try to remember that there are also situations where patience and timing can be the key to success.

Any thoughts?

Thinking about time…

This morning was different, going through my daily routine I actually sat down to have my usual cup of coffee, huge cup of light roast with yummy cream. We’re usually so busy through the day that we, I, rarely have much time to play, think, read or even to unwind. No matter how hard I try I usually end up walking around the house in the mornings with my coffee in my hand and end up leaving half of it in the bathroom, top of the TV or even in my closet. Of course, the morning is not the ideal moment to unwind but today I was suddenly hit by time. In the past couple of days I have re-connected with someone I care for very much and realized that we had not spoken for more than over a year… a year. I do admit that I’m responsible for the distance and the lack of communication but it’s just a part of life, the things we do, the decisions we make. So as I sat down this morning with a pensive mind, I suddenly began to wish that I could go back in time, not only for a week or two, years would be nice… Although I’ve never had any regrets in the decisions I’ve made, there are a few things that I wish I could have done differently. I think it’s one of the worst feelings, the fact that we can’t go back and change things about our past. There’s always something else we would have done, something we should have said, a place we should have seen, people we had to seek, conversations we should have had, kisses that should have happened… feelings that had to be expressed and many “I’m sorry”. So maybe this re-connecting is not so bad, it’s the closest thing to being able to rewind and change things, it’s an opportunity to think things over, the chance to say you’re sorry, smile and move on…