Closure

People talk about getting closure all the time. After a loved one has passed, after a breakup, a broken friendship, or even after letting go of material possessions. I have one too many questions about this issue, I mean, why do we need closure? Why does it seem that we always need closure for a “bad” thing? But more importantly, what do we mean by closure? Is it looking at the event, determining what we’ve learned from it, applying those lessons, and then getting on with our lives? 

I personally have tried the “closure” deal many times and still I have no idea if it worked or not, you know, throwing away letters, deleting pics on your laptop, burning the boxers, getting rid of contact info… still, I’m not sure I have ever gotten the closure I needed. May I add, the many times does not mean it has been with different people… which probably makes it worse! lol

In my search of a better definition I found out that apparently in mathematics there is a concept for closure that applies mostly to algebra, the definition states – a set is closed under an operation if applying the operation to two members of the set results in another member of the set… huh!!?

Scratch that, forget the math, I prefer to stick to psychology… is closure just something in our minds? I tend to think closure is mental and therefore should be easy to control, but the heart, now there’s a different story, no part of your brain can tell your heart to forget and move on. Closure is something very personal, something deep inside of us. It can be a matter of the heart or a matter of the brain, it can be as simple as seeking that moment that will provide you a proper ending to an ongoing situation. An ending where you can say, “I’m there, I have moved on…”  and lay the love to rest together with all the good, the bad and the in-between. Read the rest of this entry »